Everything Happens For a Reason

The song came on and I was instantly taken back, back to a place that is now just a memory. A place in time that once existed and now merely ceases to exist. We had met years ago, strangely enough, through my first love. And although, I didn't remember much of him from back then, his name always stuck in the back of my mind. Years went by without seeing or speaking to one another and then one night fate brought us together again. I had decided to go out to the bar with some friends of mine that I had never really hung out with before. They had been trying for weeks to get me to go out with them and I was just never really into it. Then on this particular night I, for whatever reason, changed my mind. We saw each other and he came over and started talking to me. We talked for maybe five minutes that night, and I spent the majority of my night hanging out with his brother (who I was better acquainted with) and my other friends. The next day, for whatever reason, I couldn't get him off my mind. I was really bummed that I hadn't talked to him more when I had the chance, so I took a leap and I reached out and contacted him. We talked and he asked me if I wanted to hang out. So the next night we went bowling, he told me that he was only in town for a few more days before he had to go back to the other side of the world where he taught English.

 I was bummed because I was already starting to really like him. I promised myself that I wasn't going to get attached that we were just going to hang and have fun while he was in town and then when he left, I would forget it ever happened. The days went by way too fast and before I knew it, it was time for him to leave. I kissed him goodbye and watched him walk to his truck. As I watched him walk away I instantly thought to myself, SHIT, I broke my promise. It had only been a few days, but over those days I had felt a strong connection with him. One that I was not going to ignore just because he was going back to the other side of the world. We stayed in contact via text and Facebook for the first week and after that we started Skyping. Every chance we got. I talked to him more than I talked to my friends and family. We spent all of our free time talking to each other. Just really getting to know one another. The more we talked, the more I fell for him. He was the smartest guy I had ever met, he was so sweet, genuine, kindhearted, and had a love for God that I admired. I was crazy about this guy, but he was so far from me. We started dating, long distance, and it wasn't easy, ever, but something in my heart kept telling me that it is worth it. Be patient Jamie, this is all going to be worth it once he gets home, I just kept telling myself. He had told his parents about me and we all wanted to sit down and have dinner and get to know each other better, so I arranged to go over to their home for dinner. He was still away, so it was just his parents and I was freaking out, but it turned out to be a great night and I loved them from the start. They were so welcoming and kind and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them. A couple months later he finally came home and we were able to be together.

Being together in person was so much harder than this online relationship that we had created. Things started to get really real. We would get on each others nerves just like any couple does and it took a lot out of both of us to try to make a smooth transition from what was this perfect long distance relationship to a functioning tangible relationship. Needless to say, it didn't work out. He was right when he said that I needed to work on myself and figure out what I wanted out of life and what makes me happy on my own without him. Obviously HE made me happy, but there has to be something more. There has to be that element of self-righteousness without the constant reassurance from someone else. I needed that. I needed to find myself, figure out who I am in this world. What I want, what makes me happy, what makes me tick! Everything in this life has a purpose and happens for a reason. Regardless of if you can see the reason that it is happening or not, there is a reason behind it. I am so blessed and I am so grateful for the things that I learned from him and from being with him, but our time together had come to an end and it was time for me to embark on my next journey. It ended on very good terms, he is a great guy and I truly wish him nothing but happiness and success in his life and endeavors .